Reward Charts

A little real talk about toddlers… and losing your cool

Over the past few days I’ve spoken with many parents who are feeling a little overwhelmed by toddler behaviour — and the common thread? They feel like they’re losing their cool more often than they’d like.

So first things first… a big shout-out to these parents.

Actually — a big shout-out to all parents who have lost their cool from time to time.

I certainly have… more than once… in my 21+ years of being a mum. We are human.

Now, something I’ve noticed recently — many families have tried reward charts or token systems, but the expectations placed on toddlers are often just too big.

Filling a large jar of tokens, following long lists of rules, or needing to complete an entire chart before a reward is given can feel overwhelming and unachievable for little people. When the reward feels too far away, motivation drops — and everyone ends up feeling frustrated.

✨ P2B’s gentle approach? Start small. REALLY small.

• Aim for around 5 positive behaviours to earn a reward
• Acknowledge and reward the behaviour straight away
• Keep the system simple and achievable

The sticker or token reinforces positive choices and helps build self-regulation over time — and importantly, it keeps toddlers motivated.

Examples of behaviours to focus on:
🤍 Playing nicely
🤍 Using manners
🤍 Packing away toys
🤍 Sitting for meals

And the reward doesn’t need to be big or expensive:
🍪 A small treat
📖 An extra bedtime story
🚜 A ride on the mower
🏊 A swim
🌳 A trip to the park

When parents shift focus toward positive behaviours, frustration often decreases — and toddlers respond beautifully to that positive attention.

Remember… no little person wakes up planning to upset their parents (even if that cheeky look makes us wonder sometimes ).

As positive behaviours grow, you can gently move the goalpost — from 5 stickers to 10, for example.

✨ And if things feel heated, keep language calm and simple. When we raise our voices, toddlers hear the volume — not the message.

Hope this offers some gentle food for thought for those navigating the toddler years

 

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